Ellie’s Recovery Story, ‘Come With Me’: I Am Not Anonymous

March 7, 2023 by

Ellie’s Recovery Story is from the excellent I Am Not Anonymous website, Kate King and Tom Goris. This website contains over 170 Recovery Stories… no you haven’t read wrong! A simply amazing piece of work. Congrats to Kate and Tom and all the contributors. [NB. It looks like the website may have been last updated in 2015 – and the introductory film did not work for me – but the Stories are as relevant today as they were then.

‘When I was drinking, my life was ruled by shame.  It’s exhausting, living a double life. On the outside I was a put-together, active, intelligent woman.  I made sure my outside always looked okay, so nobody would look too closely at what was really going on, at my dirty secret.

Inside, I was a crumbling mess.  I felt less-than, unworthy and insecure.  I strove for perfection in all things, which of course is unattainable, and this left me feeling empty and ashamed.

I drank to fill the cracks, the emptiness.  I drank to numb out, escape.  I drank to feel okay with myself.  I found myself in my late thirties, a shell of a person, hollow and feeling desperately alone, even though I had a beautiful family, a job, and people who loved me.

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I Am Not Anonymous: Ellie, ‘Come With Me’

February 26, 2015 by

EllieTextBlog-1024x682A Story from the excellent I Am Not Anonymous website is long overdue. Here is Ellie’s Story“:

‘When I was drinking, my life was ruled by shame.  It’s exhausting, living a double life. On the outside I was a put-together, active, intelligent woman.  I made sure my outside always looked okay, so nobody would look too closely at what was really going on, at my dirty secret.

Inside, I was a crumbling mess.  I felt less-than, unworthy and insecure.  I strove for perfection in all things, which of course is unattainable, and this left me feeling empty and ashamed.

I drank to fill the cracks, the emptiness.  I drank to numb out, escape.  I drank to feel okay with myself.  I found myself in my late thirties, a shell of a person, hollow and feeling desperately alone, even though I had a beautiful family, a job, and people who loved me. 

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I Am Not Anonymous: Jodi’s Story, ‘Granny is in Recovery’

September 12, 2014 by

JodiText-1024x681(pp_w1000_h665)‘My name is Jodi Savits and I am a grateful person in long-term recovery. For me what that means is I have not used a drug or had a drink since October 14th, 2000. The 23 years prior to that were a miserable combination of both alcohol and drugs in one form or another.

I grew up in an upper middle class neighborhood on Long Island in New York. For all outward appearances it was a loving, supportive family. Early on I was a very intelligent girl who received good grades in school and was going to be a doctor or a lawyer.  I went home from school every day and did my homework. I had very few friends. I guess I was a nerd.

At the age of 13 I found marijuana in my father’s bedroom drawer when he asked me to grab a sweatshirt for him. I took some to school and all of a sudden other kids wanted to hang out with me. The best part was the feeling- the numb. I was smiling and laughing without having to try. And so it began. As the years passed by I found and needed more and more to maintain the numb.

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I Am Not Anonymous: Lucas’s Story, ‘Seconds and Inches’

July 16, 2014 by

Lucas-Text-1024x681(pp_w1000_h665)My name is Luke Mosley, and I am in long-term recovery from alcohol and drugs. By that, I mean that I haven’t found it necessary to pick up a drink, a drug, or any other mind or emotion altering substance since November 10, 2010. And for that I am truly blessed and eternally grateful.

I say “I haven’t found it necessary,” because for the first 27 years of my life, I lived in emotional and spiritual bondage. More than simply having a drug or alcohol problem, I had a problem dealing with life in general.

What seemed to be day-to-day challenges to most other people were crippling burdens to me. Call it social anxiety. Call it restlessness or irritability. Call it being overwhelmed.  Whatever labels my concerned family, friends, teachers, doctors, or therapists applied, they never quite identified that “thing” in me that just felt off.

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I Am Not Anonymous: Adam’s Story, ‘An Open Book’

July 15, 2014 by

Adam-Text-1024x681(pp_w1000_h665)‘For the entirety of my addiction – many sad, painful years of car accidents, overdoses, barroom brawls and street fights, failed relationships, small-time legal skirmishes and stints at rehabs – everyone wanted me to admit I had a problem, to talk about it.

Then, after I got clean and sober and became a husband, father, hockey dad and a union president that negotiated my co-workers salaries and medical benefits, many people wanted me to put it behind me, to shut up about it.

The planet witnessed the train wreck, yet I was supposed to cover it up after I got that bad boy back on the rails, which was no small feat.

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I Am Not Anonymous: Mariel’s Story, ‘Together We Can’

July 14, 2014 by

Mariel-Text-1024x681(pp_w1000_h665)I’ll be finishing off Bill White’s talk this week, as well as highlighting some stories from the excellent website I Am Not Anonymous. Here’s the first of these stories.

‘My name is Mariel Harrison. I am 28 years old. I live in Point Pleasant, NJ. I am a daughter, sister, aunt, girlfriend and friend. I am also a consumer, a voter, a tax-payer, a home-renter, and a licensed/registered/insured driver.

I am a responsible, productive and valued employee. I am a diligent full-time student with a 3.9 GPA. I believe wholeheartedly in the healing properties of yoga and meditation, am a certified yoga teacher, lived in an ashram for 9-months, and hold nothing more sacred then my personal practice both on and off the mat.

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