Michael followed both his parents into a life of dependent drinking, but he will be 45 years sober on 10 April 2023. He describes his recovery journey, his work as a drug and alcohol counsellor, and his part-time role in ‘retirement’. (7,316 words)
‘A Personal Story’ by Wee Willie Winkie
November 11, 2021
Here’s a story we first ran on our online community Wired In To Recovery in September 2010. I then posted it on Recovery Stories in June 2013.
‘I’m 33 years old. I started taking drugs from ten years old and, apart from a three and a half year stint in the army, took them continuously right up to the age of 30. This included 11 years as a heroin addict.
During this time, I felt totally isolated and alone in the world, and completely worthless. After a few years I was desperate. I’d overdosed a couple of times and, at this point in my life, I’d have welcomed death with open arms. It never came, so I decided to help it along a bit.
Factors Facilitating Recovery: A Sense of Belonging
May 11, 2021
I’ve emphasised the importance of hope, empowerment and self-responsibility in facilitating recovery. The fourth important factor is gaining a sense of belonging. Here is what I wrote in my new eBook Our Recovery Stories: Journeys from Drug and Alcohol Addiction.
“Recovery cannot be achieved in isolation. In fact, many people with serious substance problems have become isolated and alienated and this has a further debilitating effect on their already vulnerable psychological state. People who have had such problems need to belong and feel part of something. They need to feel the acceptance, care and love of other people, and to be considered a person of value and worth.
‘Invisible Pain’ by Jonathan Keys
April 23, 2014
‘In my practice as a therapist I often work with people who have been seriously hurt by the practice of psychiatry, either directly or indirectly through family members. Many of them started taking psychiatric drugs for moderate depression, or for some anxiety, or for panic attacks. But as time went on, their doses went up. More meds were added. By the time they realized the drugs were making things worse, they were already stuck on a large cocktail of psychiatric drugs.
The side effects worsened and became intransigent. Increasing depression, lethargy, loss of libido, confusion, mental fog, weight gain, lowered immunity and poorer sleep became the norm. Drugs were added to combat the side effects, leading to more side effects. At some point the realization settles in that the psych meds are causing tremendous suffering, are causing iatrogenic illness.
The sad part about this common story is that when the person finally decides that the psych drugs have caused deep harm, and that they want to stop, the road towards coming off these drugs is long and arduous.
My Favourite Blogs – ‘Loneliness: a call to generosity’ by Pat Deegan
February 8, 2014
Here is a wonderful blog from US recovery advocate Pat Deegan:
‘Like many people, I experienced periods of intense loneliness during my recovery after being diagnosed with schizophrenia. Over time, I learned that my loneliness was a call for me to be more generous and to give of myself. Here’s what I mean:
Loneliness and being alone are two different things. In my early recovery, being alone was an important self-care strategy for me.
‘A Personal Story’ by Wee Willie Winkie
June 29, 2013
‘I’m 33 years old. I started taking drugs from ten years old and, apart from a three and a half year stint in the army, took them continuously right up to the age of 30. This included 11 years as a heroin addict.
During this time, I felt totally isolated and alone in the world, and completely worthless. After a few years I was desperate. I’d overdosed a couple of times and, at this point in my life, I’d have welcomed death with open arms. It never came, so I decided to help it along a bit.
Luckily, it didn’t work but at the time I just didn’t know what to do. Eventually, I decided that this was my life and to try make the best of it I could. I ended up living in the woods for a year. I could never see myself living in shop doorways.
‘Five things NOT to do in early recovery’ by Peapod
June 17, 2013
“Ah, the curse of the addict: isolation. So easy to do, yet so destructive. It’s connectivity to others that help many of us to move forward in recovery. Connecting to others allows us to deal with stress better, we lead happier lives and we both help and are helped.”
Some choices and behaviours are more likely than others to trip us up. I’ve gathered five red recovery flags together to highlight potential pitfalls for the unwary. But who am I to be prescriptive? Everyone needs to make up his or her own mind about what to do or what not to do.
I’ve known people who’ve avoided most of the things on my list and still come a cropper and I’ve known folk break all the “rules” and not wobble too much. So take what you like and leave the rest…
1) Avoid romantic relationships early on. The ‘love’ can act like a drug in itself and the relationship can become the focus of life meaning that healthy activities, and in particular recovery-oriented activities, may suffer. The rock that wrecks the ship tends to be when the relationship goes wrong. Develop a relationship with yourself first and avoid choppy waters.
2) Don’t hang out with old friends. Using or drinking buddies not in recovery tend to continue to use or drink. That’s kind of self-evident, really. In addition, there’s often something very uncomfortable for them in having a friend in recovery. There’s a tendency not to like that.
I’ve lost count of the number of times folk I’ve known have relapsed due to a visit to a friend or allowing a friend to drop by with a small gift. Give yourself a break and stay clear of folk who are still dealing with the problem.
3) Don’t hang out in old haunts or at events that you associate with drinking or using. There’s an old recovery saying: “If you sit in the barber’s chair long enough, you’ll get a haircut”. Pubs, clubs, concerts, weddings, funerals, stag nights and parties can be runaway relapse trains for those reaching for recovery.
Find new places to go to. In several large cities and towns there are recovery-oriented activities and events to enjoy and there are more on the way as the recovery movement gains steam.
4) Avoid the ‘first’ drink or drug. An old AA favourite pearl of wisdom, this was based solely on experience in the early days, but it’s backed up by the neuroscience and by other evidence.
The quiet whisper that says: “It’s okay now, my system is cleared out, I’ll be okay with a glass of wine or a line of coke or heroin” is compelling, but we’re back in treacherous waters if we listen. For those of us who had serious dependence issues, going back to ‘safe’ use is not normally an option.
5) Don’t isolate. Ah, the curse of the addict: isolation. So easy to do, yet so destructive. It’s connectivity to others that help many of us to move forward in recovery. I was talking with a lovely friend in recovery earlier this evening and we laughed at how I use that word to death, but I make no apologies.
Connecting to others allows us to deal with stress better, we lead happier lives and we both help and are helped. In one study, just adding one sober person to your social network reduced relapse rates by 27%.
Loneliness: a call to generosity
May 31, 2013
Here is a wonderful blog from US recovery advocate Pat Deegan:
‘Like many people, I experienced periods of intense loneliness during my recovery after being diagnosed with schizophrenia. Over time, I learned that my loneliness was a call for me to be more generous and to give of myself. Here’s what I mean:
Loneliness and being alone are two different things. In my early recovery, being alone was an important self-care strategy for me.
