Kevan’s Moment of Clarity

images-1A Moment of Clarity for Kevan Martin, taken from his Recovery Story. After spending 25 years problem drinking and eight years in and out of psychiatric hospitals, Kevan runs NERAF which has nearly 100 staff and volunteers and provides a support service across the north-east of England.

‘One Sunday evening, when I was out trying to tire myself out, I walked past a church. I believe in God, but I am not a religious or spiritual person by any means. However, I felt this overwhelming urge to turn back and enter the church.

I sat at the back of the church watching the congregation sing and started to feel comfortable, relaxed and at ease. I must have fallen asleep, as I didn’t realise that people had left until the Vicar woke me.

I apologised for being asleep. He sat down and we talked for perhaps an hour, during which time I poured my heart out and cried like I have never cried before. I told him everything about myself and what I was experiencing.

I don’t know if the Vicar was a recovering alcoholic or not, but his words put things into a totally different perspective for me, which made my feelings easier to deal and live with.

He explained to me that part of his job was not only to bury the dead, but also to help distraught families deal with their loss. He tries to help them come to terms with the fact that they will not see their loved one again, but have to move on from the loss regardless of still wanting to be with that person.

I thanked the Vicar and left. On my way home, I reflected on what had been said and it began to dawn on me that I was going through some kind of mourning process.

I was missing my best mate, so bloody much it actually hurt. However, I knew that I was better off without my best friend, even though it was still alive!

After this conversation, I began to look at things differently. I considered the detrimental effects my best friend had brought to my life – divorce, job losses galore, homelessness, couldn’t see my daughter, family rejection, loss of dignity and self-purpose, etc, etc. The list was endless.

I then had the stark realisation that I had allowed alcohol to do all of this? Or had I? I was an addict, wasn’t I?’

Why not check out Kevan’s Story?