‘Standing on the outside: Looking in’ by Aurelius

P4091276‘Firstly, I want to thank all of the site [Wired In To Recovery] members who have taken the time to comment on my wife’s posts/queries (Whiplashgirlchild). Your perspective (and objectivity) have really seemed to help her on days when everything just stacks up and turns bad.

I met my partner just as she was working her way off subutex. She had a decade of hardcore use under her belt and almost another decade on MMT/Subutex.

I had (have) a lot to learn about the nature of addiction and the meandering paths of recovery. I have had a steep learning curve, trying to understand the stigma and prejudice that she has had to endure during the years of struggle to get free of ‘the fog’ as she likes call it.

I have the utmost respect for anyone strong enough to try and break free. Having spent several years driving my partner to the pharmacy for her weekly doses, witnessing the looks on the pharmacist’s faces, ranging from condescending pity to smug satisfaction/disgust at having to serve a person that they deemed as a waste of space.

Of all the clients who were on a MMT program at that pharmacy, my wife is only one of two clients who have managed to get right off and taper off subutex. If it isn’t already abundantly clear, I’ll say it straight out. I am incredibly proud of my partner’s achievements. I do not believe I would be strong enough to do what she has done.

I have been lucky enough to get a small (very small) window into part of what a recovery process is like. I have seen the impact that unsupportive family members can have on a person who is in recovery, even the hidden prod of a questions like “Are you OK?”, which in translation often means, “Are you back on drugs? How much have you had?”

It has been five years today since my wife got off a maintenance programme. She has achieved so much since then. We have a four year old daughter and live a relatively tame suburban existence. Life is good and we are grateful.

To all of you who are doing it tough, hold fast. And to everyone who has shared their perspectives with my partner, thank you.’

It was so good to read this blog from Wired In To Recovery (WITR) in January 2011. I will continue to post old WITR classic blogs as requested.