‘It’s called the past for a reason’ by Matt Kay

keld1Here’s an early blog from one of my favourite Wired In To Recovery bloggers, Matt Kay.

‘For all of us in recovery, irrespective of our substance of choice, it’s important to remember to always keep things in perspective.

As addicts, we craved our drug and wanted it immediately and always wanted more. Likewise, in recovery we crave abstinence or sobriety and cannot understand why the little devil on our shoulders just won’t take a long sprint off a short pier!

A friend of mine (eight months sober) rang me recently and, in floods of tears, said they couldn’t understand why they had been out ‘for just one drink’. During this moment of his intoxication, I had a chat, calmed him down, and advised a good night’s sleep and we’d talk again in the morning.

When the alcohol had cleared, I met my friend and, over coffee, we discussed the previous 24 hours. He was, understandably, downbeat and was beating himself up as to why he had picked up after remaining sober for so long.

I told him that alcoholism was a baffling illness and if any doctor out there could explain how or why these events happen, he’d be the only one! I told him that it was better not to focus on the negatives but to try and think about putting the past behind him and to move forward.

I got a piece of paper and a pen and asked him to give me 8 – 10 things that are important in his life and I would write these down. He shouted out things like ‘money’, ‘family’, ‘kids’, ‘health’, ‘job’, ‘happiness’ – after a short while we had eight things on our list.

I asked him how he was going to achieve or keep any of the words on our list. He looked confused as I told him he hadn’t put down the most important one ‘alcohol’!

You see, we still need to be aware of the thing that got us here in order to remain clean and sober for today and the next and so on. We don’t shoot our wounded in recovery, we bandage the injuries up, get the fallen back on their feet and help them back up again ready to fight another day.

Which brings me nicely on to what we ended up talking about over our lattes. Its called the past for a reason and here’s why:

  • It’s better to concentrate on what I’m going to try and do today rather than what I did or didn’t do yesterday.
  • No matter how bad something was that occurred, it shouldn’t be allowed to have a negative influence on my life.
  • I can’t change what I did in the past, I can only make sure that I learn from it and influence my future choices.
  • Because something happened once, it doesn’t necessarily have to re-occur.
  • People treating me badly in the past doesn’t mean that I am a bad person.
  • I can use the things that did not kill me to make myself a stronger person.

Life’s too short to have regrets about the past. Dust yourself down, get back on your feet and look forward to the future. The future’s green, the future’s Wired In!

Speak soon everybody

Matt ;O)’