‘The Past, Present and Future’ by Maddy

Unknown-1Unexpected memories can throw me off track in a second! Like today, I’ve been wondering around the Westfield shopping centre killing time before an appointment. I walked into a store that I used to work in when using and the memories came rushing back, followed by a real dip in my mood.

Suddenly, I’m sad, scared about my future, worried I’ll never be ok. Missing the buzz I had when using. The freedom from feelings. The confidence.

It’s still so overwhelming that I’m in recovery. Sometimes, I feel so lost and empty, but other times full of hope and faith.

How do you know you’re going to be ok when you have no idea what’s around the corner? I want to travel and see more of the world, but will I be more lonely traveling around the world then I am living my life here?

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