‘Living on Purpose’ by Jacob Sokol

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERASome of you will remember the blog I did recently on Jacob Sokol’s writing on 12 things that happy people do differently – and why he now does them. Today, I follow up with some more reflections from Jacob.

1. Make your motivations intrinsic
Untold Truth: As privileged and lucky as we are, society sets us up for failure because it motivates us with extrinsic incentives like fame, wealth, and beauty. Chasing these things are flashy and fun for a short time but ultimately unfulfilling. They’re like drinking salt-water when you’re thristy.

What To Do: To remove those “low low” feelings, focus on intrinsic incentives like relationships, contribution, and personal growth. Create a life around them and you’ll be super On Purpose.

“Focusing your life solely on making a buck shows a certain poverty of ambition. It asks too little of yourself. Because it’s only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you realize your true potential.” Barack Obama

2. Live in integrity with your values
Untold Truth: If you want to find and live your purpose, you’re gonna need to know what you stand for. I’ve found that the best way to know what you stand for is to get clarity on what it is that you value. What’s important to you? What do you give a shit about? If you were running for the toilet and had no time to think, could you tell me what your top five values are without stopping and soiling yourself?

What To Do: To help find your values, question things. Try stuff out. Experiment. Do the opposite of what you were told. Step outside of the box. CRACK YOUR COMFORT ZONE! And then *reflect on what’s important to you.* (This worksheet will help.) Once you know what’s important to you and the more that you act in accordance with those values, the better you’re gonna feel about yourself.

“If you want to be faithful to someone, start by being faithful to yourself.” Paulo Coelho

3. Become comfortable with feeling uncomfortable
Untold Truth: Our lives are limited within the confines of our “comfort zone.” When we get out of our comfort zone and become uncomfortable, WE WIN LIFE! The cool thing about comfort zones is that when we step outta them, they grow! That’s right – by being momentarily uncomfortable, we own our fear, and in the future, the things that scared us aren’t so intimidating anymore.

If you want to find your purpose, you’re probably going to have to do things that you’ve never done before – and in order to do them, you’re going to need to get outside of your comfort zone.

What To Do: Feel that discomfort, and despite it’s presence, go do what you need to do. The more you do that, the less uncomfortable you’ll feel in the future. Make it a game to become comfortable being uncomfortable and you’ll find your purpose much sooner.

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” Nelson Mandela

4. Embark on the Hero’s Journey
Untold Truth:
This “Hero’s Journey” is the common thread amongst all great characters (and stories) in life. Your soul is calling to you. It’s trying to tell you that you have a unique path that only you can take.

Your mind can rationalize all sorts of award-winning reasons why you shouldn’t take the untraveled trail. But to deny that call from your soul is to deny yourself the life that you deserve to live. It’s the difference between being fully ALIVE and cruising aimlessly on auto-pilot all your life.

What To Do: In order to create an extraordinary life, you’re going to need to walk away from what you know. You’re going to have to face your fears, improve your conditioning, and create your own unique path. You’re going to feel scared, excited, and alive!

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” Anais Nin

5. Combine your strengths with your passions
Untold Truth:
People who are Living On Purpose are continuously using their strengths while doing work that matters to them on a daily basis.

What To Do: Science is suggesting that instead of focusing on your weaknesses, get them to the point when they won’t harm you, and then cultivate the crap outta your strengths. This is what will make you extraordinary.

Then use your strengths to do things that make you excited and watch a sense of confidence and fulfillment appear within you (and if you mix service to other people in the mix, your purpose will appear before you know it!).

“I do not believe that you should devote overly much effort to correcting your weaknesses. Rather, I believe that the highest success in living and the deepest emotional satisfaction comes from building and using your signature strengths.” Martin Seligman

6. Avoid the trap of validation
Untold Truth:
As a baby, we need love. So from a young age we create images of ourselves, pretending to be what we think other people want us to be. Then we project these images onto our relationships and try our best to actually be the images.

But of course, we can’t ever completely conform to someone else’s vision. And this is how inner conflict originates. When people start to feel a discrepancy between the image they’re projecting, and their authentic selves, MAJOR conflict arises within them.

What To Do: In order to find and live your purpose, you’re gonna need to become indifferent of other people’s opinions of you. This goes for both the good and the bad opinions of other people – they can both be used as forms of validation if unchecked.

Here’s a counter-intuitive tidbit of wisdom: The less you look for other people’s approval, the more of it they’ll give to you.

“It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” Jiddu Krishnamurti

7. Start Living On Purpose!
Untold Truth: If you want to be fulfilled in life, finding and living your purpose is not only something you can do, it’s something you must do. You can continue to live a boring life without sustained happiness, and you can pretend you don’t know there’s more to life, but one day – maybe in a few months, or maybe in a few decades – you may wake up miserable and resenting yourself for not doing something about it when you had the chance.

What To Do: Start Living On Purpose! I want to make sure that you don’t get stuck living a life that’s not extraordinary so I’ve created a package called Living On Purpose. It aims to help you find, live, and rock your purpose in life!

“The purpose of life is a life of purpose.” Robin Sharma

Comments

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