‘Emotional Unmanageability’ by Veronica Valli

A nice short blog from Veronica Valli to reflect upon at the start of the week.

ID-10084481-300x198‘Unmangagbility and alcoholism are talked about a lot in recovery circles. When unmanageability was explained to me, it was described an outside occurrence; unpaid bills, DUI’s, divorce, car crashes, damaged furniture, broken bones etc.

That wasn’t something I related to, my life was a little chaotic but by no means unmanageable. My inner life was another story, that was then I realized in relation to alcoholism it is emotional unmanageability that causes the real problems.

To some degree, the alcoholic may be able to create some sense of order in their outside world. They may be able to work and pay their mortgage, for instance. This is how some alcoholics can convince themselves they don’t have a problem; because they have a job and a car they believe things can’t be that bad.

However, their emotional life is completely unmanageable, and by that I mean they have no control over how they are going to feel. Using alcohol gives them the false illusion that they have control over their feelings, when the opposite is actually true.

They succumb to depression and irritability; they have a constant feeling of dissatisfaction. They get angry over small issues; they constantly resent other people for what they do or say. They are unhappy. Small things upset them and they over-react.

Emotional unmanageability is when you have no control over how you are going to feel or react at any particular time.

If you have no control over how you feel, then your feelings lead you, and you become a slave to them. Being in charge of your emotional life, rather than the other way round, is essential to long term recovery.

Recovery starts by creating order within.’

Why not check out Veronica’s book Why you drink and How to stop: journey to freedom?

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